Dealing with relationship insecurity as a Young Adult

Are you a Young Adult going through changes in your relationships? Maybe you're trying to decide if you should move forward with a relationship or move on. Maybe you are going through a recent breakup. Maybe you are going through a friend breakup (the pain is valid!) or maybe you are struggling to make new friends. Working with a Young Adult therapist on these issues can help you learn about yourself, change patterns that are not working, and GROW!

Relationships change during this phase of life

When you are in high school or college, it can be fairly easy to make friends. You’re often in the same place with the same people several times per week. If one person starts a conversation, and another responds, a friendship can start. Being in the same phase of life, knowing the same people, sharing common experiences, and having common interests can make it easier to form bonds.

Sometimes classmates just become acquaintances, and other times a deeper connection is formed. But after graduation, if you are heading in different directions in life, it can strain the bonds that formed. If a treasured connection is lost, it can be quite distressing. Keeping in touch with a friend over long distance can require different skills than simply running into someone every day in class. Even if both people want to maintain the friendship, it will still need to be redefined. A Young Adult counselor can help you understand different types of relationships and how to process these changes.

Friendship breakups can be agonizing

Sometimes a friendship ends for circumstantial reasons (someone moves and the connection is lost) and other times there is a betrayal or rejection that causes the rift. It is not unusual to have strong feelings if a friendship ends badly. This lost attachment can cause you to think poorly of yourself. If you are still experiencing strong feelings of loss a few weeks after a friendship breakup, it might be a good time to see the support of a Young Adult therapist. Your therapist can help you regain your self esteem and examine patterns of attachment that might not be healthy.

Romantic relationships can also be challenging

The types of experiences that Young Adults have in romantic relationships can vary widely. Some Young Adults desire a connection, but lack confidence or have trust issues that prevent them from dating. Others are in romantic relationships, but feel unfulfilled or afraid to commit. Some may go back and forth about if they want their relationship to become more serious or not. Others may have poured their heart into a relationship, thinking it was going to end in commitment, but end up grieving the loss of a serious relationship.

Whatever types of relationship issues you are facing, a Young Adult counselor can help you gain insight into your values and beliefs about relationships. Sometimes this process solidifies what you already know, and sometimes this process can challenge you in ways that open you up to positive changes. Counseling can help you recognize the strengths that you bring to a relationship, and identify areas where you could improve as a partner.

Exploring patterns can lead to healthier relationships in the future

The experiences that lead Young Adults to therapy are often uncomfortable, but through these experiences you can really grow. A painful friendship or romantic relationship loss can help you learn more about your attachment style. A Young Adult therapist can help you learn to challenge negative beliefs about relationships or yourself that keep you stuck.

You may decide that you want to move forward with your relationship, but working with a Young Adult counselor can help you clarify your goals and needs so you can be more transparent with your partner. Improved communication can help your relationship be more stable and satisfying in the long run. If you work through your own issues, you bring your best version of yourself to your relationship, which is a lovely offering to your partner.

Learning about what is healthy and what is not can be empowering

Sometimes you come to therapy feeling that something about you or your relationships is abnormal. This could be because of peer pressure, societal messaging, or family expectations. Your Young Adult counselor can help you identify what you really want out of your relationships, instead of feeling like you have to meet the expectations of others. Not all relationships need to look the same to be valid.

While your Young Adult therapist is here to support you, they will also be listening for relationship red flags. Sometimes they can help you see how being too needy or clingy can push a good partner away. Other times, they may notice patterns of controlling or abusive behaviors. By bringing these issues to your attention, your counselor is trying to help you stay safe.

Everyone deserves a safe and satisfying relationship.

Interested in scheduling an appointment with a Young Adult Counselor to discuss relationship issues?

We’re happy to help!