Tips For Dealing With Job Stress From a Young Adult Counselor

At Shift Counseling, PC, therapy for Young Adults is one of our specialties. One topic we hear about frequently from our young adult clients is job stress. Here we are going to break down some common types of job stress and what you can do to cope.

Not knowing what is normal or expected:

“They didn’t teach me this in school” is something we hear often while providing Young Adult counseling. You're absolutely right. So much of what is taught in school is theory, and then you get out into the real world and you feel like you are just supposed to “know things” that no one has ever taught you. It can be incredibly frustrating and for a lot of people it can bring on a sense of impostor syndrome.

How to cope:

First of all, try to be patient with yourself. If this is your first job, or you are in a new field, you are on a learning curve. As long as you didn’t lie on your resume or in your interview, your employer likely knows this. For most new hires, employers don’t really expect them to be fully doing their job independently for at least the first month or two.

Focus on what you can do, and try to observe as much as possible about the work environment  without judgment of yourself. Ask questions, check in with your manager, and try to be open to opportunities for learning. You are going to make mistakes, and often that is just part of the process. The more patient you can be with yourself, the more likely you are to learn from your mistakes.

Exposure to different types of work environments over time helps people understand what is expected and what is reasonable. When you are new to the game, you are still figuring this stuff out. When in doubt, look back at your contract. If you are regularly being asked to perform duties that are not in your contract, speak up. If the issue is not acknowledged and addressed my management quickly, you may be in an unhealthy work environment (we’ll talk more about this below)

Not knowing how to advocate for yourself:

Many people seeking young adult therapy are just learning how to speak up for themselves in relationships and in the workplace. If you were not raised in an environment where you were able to speak up for yourself, this can seem especially overwhelming. This is an issue we see often in psychotherapy for young adults. When the work environment mimics an unhealthy home environment, or when a person was not taught healthy interpersonal skills at home, it can show up at work.

How to cope:

You are not a kid anymore, and speaking up should not be considered “talking back.” In a healthy work environment, you should be able to speak up about things that are bothering you, or ask questions about things you don’t understand. If you are struggling to find the right words, young adult counseling can be really helpful.

A good young adult therapist can help you sort out what parts of your reactions to the work environment are reactions coming from your own personal history. A lot of people get triggered at work because the dynamics remind them of previous unhealthy relationships.

 A young adult therapist can help you figure out if the workplace is really unhealthy, or if your reaction is more about your own past. We can also help you figure out what is really bothering you and how to ask for what you need in a way that is not unreasonable or disrespectful.

Not knowing how to leave work at work:

Many people seeking young adult counseling are just beginning to learn about work/life balance. It can be hard to turn your brain off at the end of the day after spending the whole day thinking about work. Worse yet, some employers blur the line with frequent calls or texts when you are off the clock.

How to cope:

Even in a healthy work environment, sometimes it takes practice to learn to leave work at the end of the day. Sometimes the phrase “I am not getting paid to worry about this right now” can be helpful.

If you do find yourself thinking about work when you are off the clock, maybe start a section on your notes app on your phone where you write reminders about work. That can remind you to come back to this idea when you are on the clock, and help you reclaim your off the clock time.

In a healthy work environment, your employer will understand that time off to rest, take care of your health, spend time with family and friends, and enjoy life is important to your quality of life. Allowing workers to have balance prevents burnout and helps them work more efficiently. The extra off the clock hours people spend stressing out about work usually do not actually help the employer.

Dealing with an unhealthy workplace environment:

OK, we’re going to say the quiet part out loud: A lot of work environments are not healthy!!

Unfortunately, young adults are more likely to find themselves in unhealthy work environments due to lack of job experience, entry level skills, and lack of experience with advocating for themselves.

How to cope:

Even if your job is an unhealthy work environment, a young adult therapist can still help you learn how to cope with it better. Sometimes unpacking personal issues that are contributing to work stress, improving self care, and setting boundaries at work can make a tough environment more manageable.

Not knowing if the workplace is healthy or unhealthy: Even a generally healthy work environment can be chaotic at times. In a healthy work environment, the stress is temporary, your employer acknowledges it, and there are genuine efforts made to take care of the employees and get the situation back to normal as quickly as possible.  Temporary job stress does not necessarily mean that you are in an unhealthy work environment.

At the end of the day, if your workplace is violating your contract, violating employment law, or not responding favorably to your reasonable requests for assistance or accommodation, you probably need to remove yourself from this situation. A good young adult counselor can help you figure out how to cope while you decide what your next moves will be.

Not liking your job, but feeling stuck and overwhelmed by trying to figure out what to do next:

If you are recognizing that your job is not healthy, or just not the place you want to be in the long term, you still have to figure out what you are going to do next. Most people do not have the luxury of quitting a job without having another one lined up. If you are thinking you may need to go back to school or get additional training, it can seem especially overwhelming.

How to cope:

It’s time to start problem solving. Start paying attention to the parts of your job that you are good at, or that you enjoy. It’s also helpful to notice the things you don’t enjoy, so you can minimize your involvement with these stressors in your next position.

A good young adult therapist can help you clarify what you want and don’t want out of work. Counseling for young adults can also help you figure out what your transferable skills are, and what you are passionate about. Your therapist can also help you find information about what other jobs are available, what training is required, where there are openings, and how much the jobs you are considering pay. They can also help you make a plan to either manage stress at your current position, or find a different, temporary position while you go back to school or get additional training.

How to make the most of a bad work environment:

Once you recognize you are in a bad environment, the best thing you can do  is start making plans to get out. But if you are stuck there for a while, at least you can use this experience to gather data. What do you like about this job? What are you good at? What are you learning from this job, even if you hate it? What are the things that you notice about this job that are red flags for future employment?

Make connections with other co-workers if possible. Sometimes work friends are just people you know for a while, and then you go your separate ways. Other times, work friends end up being part of your professional network.

Pay attention to people who seem to be ambitious and have a cooperative attitude. They will likely move on to a better position. If you stay in contact, these may be people who end up helping you get your next position.

Also, find a mentor or join a professional organization. This can be a great way to meet other people in your field, and find out about other opportunities that may suit you better than your current job.

In short, job stress can be, and should be temporary. Do not allow an unhealthy work environment to rob you of your joy. If you are a young adult experiencing job stress and you would like to speak to a therapist to get help, CONTACT US.