Why Coping Skills Are Such An Important Part of Stress Therapy
If you are feeling really stressed out, there is a good chance it is because you are feeling not in control of something. You want something, or someone to change, but you can’t force it to happen. It is understandable that you may be focusing all of your energy on trying to regain control, but the truth is that it is not always possible.
Focusing on something that is out of your control ultimately leaves you feeling powerless and stuck. Spending too much time in this mental state will leave you feeling sad, irritable, and defeated. You may start to have headaches, muscle aches, and digestive problems. You may find yourself sleeping too much, or unable to sleep at all. These are common issues that cause people to seek stress treatment.
If you have been feeling stressed without relief for more than a couple of weeks, it might be time to seek stress management counseling. The good news is that relief is available, but it often comes from changing the way you approach the problem. If your stress comes from feeling stuck, a good therapist can help you figure out how to get unstuck.
Stress has many negative effects on the body, which is why people feel physically awful when they are chronically stressed. When we are stressed, our body often goes into fight or flight mode.
While fight or flight can be helpful for acute problems, it is not helpful for longer term stressors. When your body is in fight or flight mode, the back part of your brain (which was built for managing crises) becomes overactive. The front part of your brain (the “smart part”) that holds language and problem solving skills actually goes partially off line.
So if you are in a state of extreme physical stress, you are not likely to come up with good solutions to your problem. That is why we often find ourselves behaving impulsively during times of stress, and we often do things we later regret when we are upset.
To help relieve the stress, a therapist will often help you become more aware of how your body is responding, and then help you find ways to soothe your body. This turns off the fight or flight response, and helps you get back into a mindset where you can make good choices.
How stress relief therapy works
Breath work is one of the quickest ways to get your body out of fight or flight mode. Sometimes people get frustrated when a stress counselor suggests breathing exercises. You might think, “How is this going to change my problem?”
You’re right, breathing exercises won’t directly change your problem. But, learning to breathe properly will help you get your body out of fight or flight mode. When you have calmed down your body, your brain will start to work better. You will be more open to new ideas, or even come up with new solutions yourself.
Unfortunately, many times stress comes from problems that cannot be solved, or situations that are going to continue for a long time. In these situations, focusing on taking care of your body and having coping skills will help you endure the stress better, until the problem resolves. If you’re not eating well, not sleeping well, and not feeling well physically, you are going to break down. If you fall apart, you are not going to be able to manage the problem.
Many people who need stress counseling are also engaging in something therapists call “rumination.” This basically means obsessing about the problem, running different scenarios in your head over and over, and generally overthinking. While it is true that you do have to engage with the problem to find solutions, rumination is not productive.
If you notice yourself thinking about your stressors in the same way, over and over, you are probably ruminating. If the way you are thinking about a problem is not making you feel better or come up with new ideas, it is not helping you. Being able to recognize rumination and break out of it quickly is key to effectively coping with stress.
We often hear people say things like, “How can I possibly go do something else that is fun or soothing when this problem is not solved?” It may seem counterproductive, but taking breaks is often more efficient than staying hyperfocused on a problem that is out of your control.
Best coping skills for dealing with stress:
Implementing a simple routine that includes time for meals, exercise, fun, and rest
Daily journaling to check in with your emotions, and to see if helpful new ideas are popping up
Learning breathing skills that you can implement daily when you are feeling stressed
Finding exercise that feels good to your body
Spending time outside
Enjoying healthy, nutritious meals when possible
Spending time with pets
Spending time with people who can make you laugh
Seeing beautiful things
Stretching
Listening to or making music
Engaging with something that you are curious or excited about
Making sure you get enough time for rest and sleep
If you are tired of feeling overwhelmed, stress relief therapy is available.
